(Please) keep your “cures” off my cancer.
Since my cancer diagnosis a year ago, I’ve received countless recommendations for purported cures and treatments for cancer. Most of the recommendations have been respectful and well-intentioned, from friends and family members who only want to see me around for as long as possible. Others, maybe not so much.
Being a target for criticism is part of the territory for a blogger. And I learned pretty quickly that I have to have thick skin if I am to keep writing publicly about my personal life. I was just surprised in the beginning to experience open hostility from strangers who disagreed — vehemently — with my health care choices. Individuals who had no qualms (anonymously) with blasting an active cancer patient.
Some of the comments I received included loving advice and opinions such as these gems:
“Have the courage to REFUSE chemo and you will have a better chance of living to 100.”
“It is NOT a cancer “battle” when you put all four paws in the air and blindly and stupidly trust the cancer industry.”
“Chemo is an over-priced highly ineffective chemical attack on your immune system which if it was healthy to BEGIN with you would have never gotten cancer at all.”
“When you’re ready to stop poisoning yourself, the real, natural cure is out there.”
“If you were evolved enough to recognize the truth about the pharmaceutical industry, you wouldn’t be risking leaving your daughter without a mother.”
“You are part of the problem, a pawn for the cancer machine.”
You know, stuff like that.
I’ve also been told that the 100%-guaranteed-cure-for-cancer-that-the-pharmaceutical-and-healthcare-industries-and-the-government-do-not-want-you-to-know-about is:
Green tea.
No, it’s soursop fruit.
Nope, it’s black salve.
I heard it’s maple syrup and baking soda.
Uh uh, it’s pure frankincense.
Fermented amanita muscaria. Aloe vera and honey. No, honey and cinnamon. Alkaline water and an alkaline diet. Leafy greens. Laetrile, or Vitamin B17. Carrots and purple grapes. Amino acids. The oxalic acid in carrots. Juicing. Pancreatic enzymes. Himalayan sea salt. Biologically active peptides.
And several dozen other natural remedies touted as being “the” cure.
It has been suggested that I need to go to the Burzynski Clinic in Houston, Texas. And the Gershon Institute in Mexico or Hungary. And the Immuno-Augmentative Therapy Centre in the Bahamas. And the The Kroiss-Cancer-Center for Alternative Cancer Therapy in Vienna, Austria. And a host of other alternative cancer treatment centers around the world.
I’ve been told about alleged healers around the globe from Boston to Brazil. I have had information sent to me about promising clinical trials and studies all around the country and beyond. I’ve had countless diets recommended to me, as well as hundreds of books.
You get the picture.
There’s a lot of information out there. And those of us battling potentially terminal illnesses would love nothing more than for a miracle cure to be found. In fact, some of us are so desperate that we’ll spend our last dollars and our last days chasing that so-called miracle.
I’m not immune to it either. Although I chose traditional medicine to fight my cancer — surgery followed by 24 rounds of aggressive chemotherapy — I have supplemented it with tons of holistic remedies and treatments. My view has been that if it can’t hurt me and has been reported to shrink tumors and make cancer disappear, what do I have to lose?
I’ve consumed rivers of green tea. I’ve ingested pure frankincense oil. I’ve switched from regular salt to Himalayan sea salt. I’ve juiced. I’ve eliminated or greatly reduced sugars and meat and processed foods from my diet. I’ve given up caffeine and cow’s milk.
I’ve seen energy workers and reiki masters. Done cleanses and colonics. I’ve undergone hours of acupuncture. I’ve meditated and done visualization exercises. Laid on mats of amethyst crystals emitting far infrared light.
We invested in an elaborate alkaline water system from Japan for our home. We put our pets and child on anti-cancer diets.
We have tried to live a healthy lifestyle. We try to put aside all negative thoughts and only picture healthy outcomes. But an iffy CT scan can still scare the shit out of us. And I’ve watched people way healthier and more disciplined than I die from cancer. It had nothing to do with their attitude or motivation or desire to live. It had everything to do with the fact that cancer is still alive and well and mutating and changing and growing smarter and killing millions of us around the world every year.
And while cancer may mean big money for the pharmaceutical and healthcare industries, a proven cure or treatment regimen for cancer would mean big money for these industries as well. Plus, cancer touches everyone. Everyone. Even those who are part of Big Pharma and Big Healthcare. If the secret cure was out there, don’t you think someone with the resources of, say, a Steve Jobs would have gotten a little love?
I guess here’s where I come out on it, and here’s why I’m writing this piece for which I’ll no doubt get a fresh rash of shit.
If you hear of something that has been shown or purported to help fight cancer, by all means, share. I’ll try close to anything at this point. As I’ve said, I don’t have much to lose. Plus, we could all stand to eat and drink and live healthier. And there’s no doubt that living a healthy lifestyle can help keep many life-threatening conditions at bay.
But please don’t denigrate me for my healthcare choices. I have friends who have opted against chemotherapy or radiation to fight their cancer, and while this was not my choice, I wish for them nothing but the absolute best outcome. I certainly would never criticize anyone – friend or stranger – for their personal decisions about their own body and health.
Also, I have to say I do not believe that a single one of my very vocal detractors has experienced cancer themselves. I think that until one has actually experienced a disease with a potentially deadly outcome such as cancer, one never knows how one will react, or how one might choose to treat. I’m a tree-hugging liberal and fan and long-time patron of holistic and alternative treatments; yet when I learned I had cancer, I couldn’t get hooked up to the chemotherapy drip fast enough. I had a new husband and a newborn baby and didn’t want to take any chances.
I still don’t want to take any chances. I’m told that if I’m experiencing a recurrence of cancer, the recommended course of treatment will be a solid year of weekly chemotherapy, with all of the debilitating side effects it brings. And I won’t hesitate to do it. I know women with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer who have signed on for chemotherapy for life. LIFE. They will be receiving chemotherapy for the rest of their lives or until there’s a cure. And I respect and admire the hell out of each and every one of them.
So, thank you for your well-intentioned advice about potential cures. I’m interested in all of it, and discount none of it out of hand.B
But for those who have never experienced cancer and choose to angrily blast me for my personal choices? I just hope that neither you nor anyone you love is ever diagnosed with this disease. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Even assholes like you.
Rock on!
Darling, you have big balls, I love it, and this is spot on… (this is your husband, just in case you didn’t figure out which marko posted)
I have been following you b/c I was a client of Brooke Kelly. I have been praying for you and love reading your blog. Being somewhat recently diagnosed with Rhuematoid Arthritis I feel like I can understand some of the emotions you are going through but not all of them as my illness is most certainly not as serious as yours…that being said this entry made me so happy the last sentence made me grin. I want to repeat it about my diagnosis to everyone who challenges the truth of my diagnosis/disease etc….it’s just pure perfection….”I just hope that neither you nor anyone you love is ever diagnosed with this disease. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Even assholes like you.” I might have to quote you sometime on this one…please keep writing, you are an inspiration.
Touche!
YES, YES, YES! You are one strong, inspirational, awesome woman! So glad your write about all of your experiences. Thanks for sharing your life with us!
‘Atta girl!!! I freakin’ love you lady!!!
Dito on Marko’s comment!
J- you verbalized so many of the thoughts that have gone through my mind on so many occasions in regards to cancer treatment. Thanks for being you… authentically!!!
love, M
Thank you for your honest sentiment. This post really hit home with me.
I have Multiple Sclerosis. I think this may be the first time I’ve ever typed the words. Recently, a Dr. (2nd opinion) gave a very bleak outlook (very different from what we’ve been hearing from drs)- I have a “very severe and aggressive form of MS” – bad news and a really, shitty delivery. He said if I keep doing what I’m doing I might not be here in 10-15 years. I’m 46 with 3 children and a husband. This news shocked us because we thought I had made good choices – traditional medicine combined with exercise, vitamins for days & massage, meditation etc. Some of the drugs I could take have side effects – some life-threatening and I’m scared. I’ve been inundated with advice – accupuncture, crystals, wheat grass, eat kale kale kale, eat liver liver liver, and all sorts of oils etc. so I understand – like you, I feel it is all good intentions from people who care.
No one will ever really know what it feels like to be you – to make the choices you have made and will have to make.
A friend told me “You take all the information you can about your disease, consider it carefully and in the end you make an intuitive leap of faith” and hope that it all works out. That’s what I’ve done – it sounds like what you have done also.
I read the things people write on social media and I am ashamed to be counted among them – ashamed be human. I hope you can ignore all of the ugly comments – it is a peculiar thing that is rampant on social media and blog sites.
You’re truly an inspiration – I have followed you also via Brooke Kelley.
You hang in there! Love to you!
Fuck them Jo. I am 10000% behind what you think is right for you. Let me at the detractors. They have no idea of the fury of a pissed-off redhead.
Jo, Fight your fight ANY way you see fit. You have a daughter and husband who need you and I know you need them too. I’m so glad you’ve chosen to share your story. I’m still praying for your family and sending good thoughts your way. Keep fighting and never give up!!!
An absolutely brilliant post! You truly nailed that contradiction and the compulsion to make the decision that is right for you. I have also received a heap of suggestions and advisory emails, and by far most of them with the best of intentions. But the decision lies in only our own hands, and we are the ones who live with those decisions. I am delighted to find your blog. Keep writing and I for sure will keep reading!
Both you and your husband are right. It was you, and you alone who had to decide on the course of treatment you were going to follow. And I’ve been there! Thirty four years ago I had an aggressive systemic cancer. I had to undergo mega-dose chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants, I had to quit smoking, I had to modify my diet, and so on. But it was my choices, the expertise of the physicians and other medical staff, the advances in cancer research at the institution at which I was treated, what saved my life. I hope you’ll get to remember this gruesome time from a different point of view many year from now.
Awesome! You go girl!!
Dearest Joanna. I heard that actor Bill Murray says, “Grab each day by the neck and kiss it!” You do the same sweetheart. Love to all of the 3 Montgomerys. xo
Amazing how people who don’t have cancer are the first ones to judge someone who does and who are they to tell you your choices are wrong? Live life how you want and screw those who don’t stand by your side!
I wish both of my grandparents were alive to read this. They were all about anti-cancer. They would have told you that everything is out there for good, bad or zip effect. You make the choices right for you. You are a beautiful soul and inspire me every day.
Hi Joanna
I am generally quiet, I just enjoy reading what you write and your true honesty. I loved this post. As human beings we should honor each others choices and send love and positive energy to each other and keep the negative shit ourselves.
Sending lots of good energy your way.
Dawn
BAM!!!!
You Go Jo!!!! I am appalled at some people out there that think they can say whatever they feel. I had emergency surgery back in July followed by intense and harsh chemo. Finished cycles and just had more surgery. The recovery has been long and depressing, but it all worked and I am cancer free. My faith, family and friends have only been positive to me and my decisions. NO ONE knows what they would do in our situation so they should keep their comments to themselves. How rude and inconsiderate! I pray that you keep blogging and filtering out your feelings. And just remember “Laughter is Healing” so forget all the negative vibes out there. God Bless! Keep that POSITIVE ATTITUDE!!!!! Diana
How dare anyone criticize you for trying to live!!!! I say until they walk in your shoes, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!!!!
Keep on doing what is best for YOU and your family!
No one knows until they’ve walked in your shoes. Why others feel compelled to register suggested treatments – always unsolicited — is just beyond me.
AMEN, sister!!! Prayers and thoughts to you as you continue to travel a journey no one should have to travel . . . (S&H Louisville office and fellow cancer survivor)
Jo, I love how you are attacking this, putting yourself out there unflinching and unapologetic. You are a true inspiration to all who have ever battled cancer as well as those who have not. Keep up the good fight(ing) & writing! Love you!
Every time I read one of your posts I think – BEST POST EVER. Then you write again and I say it again. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK you for saying what I have long thought. Keep up the fight!
I always considered myself very “anti-chemo”. I had a friend that was diagnosed with cancer in our mid 20′s and I always swore that it was the chemo that killed her…not the cancer. I had always told my husband that it I got cancer I would never do chemo….THEN I GOT CANCER. I was diagnosed with Fallopian Tube Cancer after what I thought were menopause symptoms, were actually cancer symptoms. My cancer was aggressive, grade 3. I have a wonderful husband of 31 years and a wonderful 22 yr old son. I love my life and didn’t want to die. I was then willing to endure chemo. My last chemo was 9/18/12. So far I’m cancer free. It is no one’s business but the patient and their immediate family on how they decide to treat and deal with their cancer. It is always easy to talk about what you would do when you don’t have to deal with the situation.
SMACK!!!! Awesome post, keep on keeping on. Maggs is beautiful!!!!