photoI always had difficulty asking for what I wanted or needed. I never wanted to be a bother, or cause anyone any trouble. Even when asked if I wanted something, or if someone could do something for me, it wouldn’t be unusual for me to demurely decline, stating, “Oh no, that’s okay”, even if deep down I really wanted to say yes.

I also often held back when I received something I didn’t like, whether it was a disappointing dish in a restaurant or an unflattering hairstyle. I can’t count how many times I quietly paid for something with which I wasn’t satisfied, only to then turn around and seek it elsewhere, hoping for better results. Read More →

2014-01-25-comparison-thumbTeddy Roosevelt is quoted as saying “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I’ve found this to be particularly true in the area of my own personal journey with cancer. I learned the hard way that comparing my disease to someone else’s not only steals my joy, it has the potential to chip away at my resolve. It can keep me awake at night, in a vortex of fearful speculation of my own making.

A little over two years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage IIIC fallopian tube cancer; and I’ve been managing my cancer and the subsequent side effects of treatment pretty much continuously ever since. In that time, I’ve learned that staying present and keeping a strong mental attitude are essential to my well being. Having recently been told that my cancer is of the recurrent sort, maintaining this mindset is now more important than ever. Read More →

2013-09-07-photoBefore my surgery, I spoke openly about my decision to undergo a prophylactic bi-lateral mastectomy in the wake of a BRCA-1 diagnosis. I’m now about six weeks post-surgery, the (proud?) owner of two brand spanking new “foobs” (fake boobs), and I’ve had some time to process the new additions.

First, I believe there’s a huge misconception among the general populous about what it means to have one’s breasts removed and replaced with artificial ones (if they are replaced at all). When speaking about my upcoming surgery, I had many well-meaning people say things like, “Well at least you get new boobs!” and, “Your husband must be so excited… has he picked ’em out yet?”

Yeah, well, it’s not quite like that. Not at all, in fact. Read More →

2013-07-14-babylipsWhat do I have in common with Angelina Jolie (besides oversized lips that are apparent even in our baby photos)?

We’re both moms.

We both discovered through DNA testing that we carry the BRCA1 genetic mutation.

We were both told we have an 87 percent chance of contracting breast cancer in our respective lifetimes.

We both opted for a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy to dramatically reduce our risks.

And we have both been criticized for our decisions. Read More →

late_bloomer_flowerI’ve always been a late bloomer. I sucked my thumb until age five. I played with Barbie dolls until junior high (which, in case you don’t know, is way longer than most girls). I was one of the last of my friends to get her period. In fact, I lied for more than a year about having gotten it, I was so embarrassed. I was out of high school before I got boobs.

I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was a senior, and was pretty sexually inexperienced going into college (I made up for it later). And speaking of college, I left after the first semester of my freshman year because I was homesick. Homesick. I later went back, but opted to go part-time while working and living at home.

I was a mama’s girl for sure. Read More →